No dance of the deserted dog when I get home from work.
Car windows and glass sliding doors that can actually be seen through.
No "mad-dog-butt-runs" in the back yard or through the house.
Coasters would still have the cork on the bottom.
Tables and chairs would still have legs.
No more games of hide & seek in the house.
Coconuts would be a food item, not a toy.
No more stolen underwear.
Panties would not be chewies and bras would not be snap toys.
Photos would actually have some PEOPLE in them.
Nobody to share my *insert ANY food item* with.
Wildlife would return to the backyard.
Lush grass would grow the backyard.
The backyard would not look like a perpetual construction zone.
Cats could walk the back fence with impunity.
Helicopters could fly overhead unchased.
The cat would not have to eat his meals in a rabbit cage.
The other cat would not be living in a back bedroom OR behind the washer.
No carpet tufts distributed around the house.
Wooden baseboards would not have that "nouveau distressed" look.
No dog toys bopping me on the back of my head while I read.
The length of a walk would no longer be inversely proportional to the degrees in negative temperature. (i.e., The colder / worse the weather, the longer the walk!)
Bath tub drains might remain unclogged forever.
The carpet would not look like it had snowed overnight.
A clear view of the television.
Any item would be safe on every counter and table.
Being able to wear dark colored clothing again.
Clothes can be washed without removing treats from the pockets.
No chewed up puppy "obedience" class graduation certificate.
Being in the kitchen would not be the equivalent of a "silent dog whistle".
Midnight raids of the refridgerator can be made without any assistance.
The cats would actually find catnip toys where THEY left them.
No "butt pokes" when I'm not looking.
A regular alarm clock.
No high powered dryer that doubles as a leaf blower.
No expensive wire "toy box" that doubles as a crate.
My cat could finish a meal without a "face-washing" afterwards.
The cat's tail would not be stepped on just to hear the response.
Sugar, coffee & tea canisters would contain those items.
Kitchen cabinets would hold useful items, not spare toys & treats.
No cold drafts in the shower from opened doors.
No nosey surprises in the shower.
New vehicles would not need to be measured for the number of crates they hold.
No "transparently mooching" hugs & snuffles after I finish my snacks.
No more "as long as ONE foot is on the floor, I am NOT on the sofa..."
No "If my toe is STILL where you told me to be, then so am I..."
Not tripping over dog toys (or dogs) in the morning, afternoon....etc.
No squeeking toys in the middle of the night.
Not having to buy an extra order of fries, chips, etc at the drive-through.
Not vacuuming to the tune of "Oowwoo wuf grrr owwwoooo".
Not playing with remote controlled toys... to the same damned tune.
No happy, soaked, grinning, BROWN dog at the back door when it rains.