Why Dogs are Better...

(from LATE SHOW with David Letterman)

The Top Ten Reasons Why a Dog Is Better than a Woman:

10. A dog's parents will never visit you.
9. A dog loves you when you leave your clothes on the floor.
8. A dog limits its time in the bathroom to a quick drink.
7. A dog never expects you to telephone.
6. A dog will not get mad at you if you forget its birthday.
5. A dog does not care about the previous dogs in your life.
4. A dog does not get mad at you if you pet another dog.
3. A dog never expects flowers on Valentine's Day.
2. The later you are, the happier a dog is to see you.
1. A dog does not shop.

Top Ten Reasons Why Dogs Are Better Than Men:

10. Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.
9. Dogs are already in touch with their inner puppies.
8. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
7. Dogs think you are a culinary genius.
6. You can house train a dog.
5. Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.
4. Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.
3. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
2. Dogs don't care whether or not you shave your legs.
1. Dogs obsess about you as much as you obsess about them.

Top 10 Ways Dogs Are Better Than Cats:

10. Dogs are bigger (well... Some dogs are).
9. Dogs don't need a litter box, as long as your neighbor has a yard.
8. Dogs don't have kittens in your closet on your new shoes.
7. Cats can't wag their tails. (And won't even try...)
6. Dogs respond when you call them by name. (Almost any name)
5. Dogs are too stupid to hide when they make a mess.
4. Dogs have cooler home pages on the Internet.
3. Dogs will stay up and watch Letterman with you, even if there are no stupid pet tricks.
2. Dogs are easy to buy Christmas presents for, get them anything that smells...
1. Cats have an attitude, dogs just have that "Where's dinner?" look.

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